Missy has been doing just fine, transitioning well by being in the same locale, but with a different roommate. Missy is quite pleased with her new caretaker. Unlike her first un-fun caretaker (me), Sarah allows her to disembowel her toys:
Sarah just informed me that my five-year stock of toys in down to nothing.
Sarah has extended Missy more trust, allowing her to run outside off leash on her own for quick pee breaks. Missy pees and immediately returns indoors. When Sarah sits in the prime writing spot on the deck, she allows Missy to wander the yard untethered. I know I was always being overcautious, so I don’t mind her extending the trust. At this point, Sarah has been caring for Missy almost as long as I had.
(Missy in disguise.)
Missy has continued her training with Sarah. She heels like a rock star now, with very few mess-ups. She does, however, still have the bitchy talk-back attitude when she disagrees with Sarah. If Missy gets out of control barking, Sarah will put her in her crate to calm down and be quiet. But even then, Missy will lie there, letting out the muted half-hearted “Berf” noises just to prove that you can cage her up, but you can’t shut her up.
Some people have said Missy’s lack of an adoptive home must be the universe’s way of telling me that she must be mine. I whole-heartedly disagree with that interpretation. Missy and I are far too much alike to ever be life-long partners. We butt heads far too often and end in a stalemate. I admitted to Sarah that I had taken Missy down once on the street when she was ignoring me. I grabbed her forcefully, flipped her over, held her down, and yelled at her for not listening to me. The reaction came from anger, which is why I know it was completely wrong.
Sarah was kind enough to say that sometimes that is the only way to get a point across to a dog. If she’s in public, and she has potential to be a danger, you gotta do what you gotta do. And then Sarah admitted that she made the same move on Missy just a couple of weeks ago in the living room when Missy wouldn’t stop barking and was ignoring Sarah’s instructions. The absolutely frustrating thing is that Missy just doesn’t ignore the instructions, she adamantly ignores your existence when she doesn’t want to listen. You can poke her, prod her, yell in her face, and she stubbornly refuses to acknowledge or accept your presence in her reality.
Missy is not an easy sell. She needs work... but maybe more importantly, she needs the right dynamic. She needs a yin to her yang. And she needs someone who she can completely trust. I am not that person for her. But I believe there is someone for her.
Carol Ann, Sarah’s mentor and dog trainer, has met Missy. Her assessment that Missy is more well-behaved than some dogs in their forever homes gave me great hope. Carol Ann was going to submit Missy for a veteran program that matches military veterans with the dogs they need or want. I honestly believe this very well could be Missy’s mission in life. I’m quite sure a veteran would be able to provide Missy with the structure and discipline to excel.
But, we haven’t heard anything back yet.
Missy’s ad is up all over the internet.
Here: http://www.adoptapet.com/pet/8500428-los-angeles-california-american-pit-bull-terrier-mix
Here: http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/25840369?rvp=1
Here: http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/25843921
Here: http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/25540093
Even on Home Buddies Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Home-Buddies-North-BurbankGlendale-CA/117609214948403
And Sarah even got Missy onto Dogshaming.com:
http://www.dogshaming.com/2013/04/adoptable-fridays-missy/
Belinda reposts her craigslist ad 4-5 times a day. Her internet publicity is at a high, and yet we don’t have suitors lined up at my front door.
Belinda received two hits from her craigslist blasts. Troy was the first to respond, and the farthest thing from a war veteran that you could get—which is fine; I am open to all possibilities. He told Belinda that he is a session musician, but a quick Google search turned up that he was a bit more than just that... he’s a drummer who tours with some pretty significantly mainstream bands (well, mainstream for the hair band genre—which is why I recognized the names.) Looking at his picture online, I could see his attraction to Missy—they make a good-looking couple. And of course, Missy adores this long-haired rocker.
But there’s a snag: a little Chihuahua-possible-Min-Pin-mix named Sawyer. Troy’s ex and he have a dog together, and although Sawyer doesn’t live with Troy anymore, Troy would certainly like his new canine companion to be able to play with his first kid when he comes to visit.
I could only hope Missy would see Sawyer as a puppy (since let’s face it, she didn’t eat her own puppies) and that she wouldn’t view him as something in the Cat/Squirrel category.
Carol Ann joined Sarah for reinforcements on the day of the meet-up. Missy primarily ignored Sawyer’s existence, as thus far in her training, it’s been desensitization, not socialization, so that Missy would be able to walk down a street without lunging at every dog trotting by. Sarah gave her tons of treats, and Missy ignored Sawyer.
Sawyer took this to be rude. He’s used to playing with the big dogs at the dog parks, and was pissed that Troy and his mom weren’t allowing him off leash to go play with this new big dog. Missy handled Sawyer’s barking and trying to get her to a play up to a certain point. But once she reached her threshold, that was it. Her confusion to his dog-speak led her to lunge and bark and get stressed out.
Sarah didn’t think Sawyer had any training, but I didn’t find that odd. Most people don’t train their dogs. If your kid is a B student, you don’t get him tutoring. But if he’s failing, then he gets the extra attention to be an A+ student. Such it is with Sawyer and Missy. Sawyer is the social, average kid with a bit of an attitude. Missy excels at the “book smarts,” and has been getting the extra schooling, but still lacks social cues. So in essence, Sawyer is the wiseass jock, and Missy has become a stereotypical nerd—someone who can explain to you the mathematical proof for our existence, but is dumbfounded on how to order a drink from a bar.
Despite all this, neither Sarah nor Carol Ann called it quits. Sarah sent Troy and Sawyer home with some training tips and homework, and they will meet again tomorrow.
My concern is of course for Sawyer’s and Missy’s safety. I don’t want Sawyer to get hurt, not just for Sawyer’s sake but because if Sawyer does get hurt, Missy will be put down. Because of Missy’s breed and her potential ability to do serious damage, she needs to be exceptional. She can’t get away with being like Sawyer, who doesn’t always listen to Troy. Sarah’s concern is whether or not Troy has the commitment and determination to keep up with Missy’s training and be the leader Missy needs to not feel insecure and stressed.
Belinda had gotten another hit for Missy on craigslist shortly after Troy had expressed interest. She told them she another potential adopter but they could fill out the application and be next in line should it not work out. I’m trying to get Belinda to get the people’s info to Sarah so they can do a meet and greet even without the application.
Because the truth it, the dog world does coincide with the financial side of life. And the finances aren’t in good shape.
Belinda suffered a major accident at the end of March—she broke her leg. Broken bones are painful enough on their own, but trying to live life on your own in Los Angeles on crutches and unable to drive a car is near impossible. Just crossing the Valley every morning to get to work is an expensive cab ride. Taking the bus is impossible due to it being a multi-block walk to the bus stop from her apartment and another 3-4 block walk to work from the nearest bus station at the other end.
So, Belinda has been unable to take Missy to adoption fairs or be a physically active part in getting Missy a home. She can only do so much from a computer, and the first couple of weeks hopped up on pain meds or sleeping enough for her body to heal wasn’t the most productive time.
And of course, there’s the added expense of ambulance bills, emergency room visits, giving gas money to friends to drive her places, cab fare if necessary to get things done. Belinda’s life is not an easy one right now--physically or financially.
And so it is of utmost importance that Missy gets into a forever home or a foster home as soon as possible. I had given Sarah the May 1st goal of finding Missy a home when I knew I would not be returning when I originally planned. But May 1st is only a week away, and we’re still waiting for a miracle.
Belinda mentioned wanting Troy to foster Missy. I said foster–to-adopt is a great idea, but we need to know she, and Sawyer, will be safe. Belinda just wants him to foster for four weeks, while still seeking a forever home. That would give her four more weeks to figure it out.
Six weeks ago, I was offended by David’s question of, “And what happens after 3 weeks with me?” I said we’d figure it out when we got there.
But now I understand: he deals with rescuers all the time, most of which have no plan beyond that moment. It seems to be the same here. Belinda was unable to raise her half of the money for the ten weeks for Sarah, and now given the circumstances, doesn’t have anything to contribute.
She did find a donor who was willing to pay for Missy’s boarding—but only at the boarding facility I fought hard to not send her to—the one where she will sit alone in a concrete kennel, never in contact with another dog or person 24 hours a day. The donor will not contribute the same amount of money to help keep Sarah on.
I’m not back on feet yet from my major house purchase, and there’s still a lot of renovations to be done to make my house safe and termite-free. I need another solid month or two to be financially stable. But what about Missy?
Do I wash my hands of it, and allow her to go to a kennel? How can I? Do I have hundreds of dollars a week to spend on her care? Of course not.
I can’t be the destitute rescuer. Hell, I’m not even a rescuer; just a foster, a caregiver, and therefore an advocate for the dog’s well-being. But as an advocate, if someone else can’t provide her necessities, it falls to me, doesn’t it?
I had created a boundary after Marty’s medical hassles: I would not foster a dog unless he or she was fully funded. Missy had been funded when I got her—but the funding was pulled once she was in my hands. I don’t even know if Belinda was paid back the money she fronted to get Missy started with me.
And so now my boundaries are as follows: I will only foster and overnight for a select few—Katya, Christy, Tails of the City, and 2-3 weeks overnights for organizations like S.T.A.R.T when know the dog is going on a transport to a rescue. I simply don’t have the financial means. So many rescuers are unable to pay their electric bills or their rent because they spend all their money on the dogs or cats. I won’t be like that. I believe in putting on my oxygen mask before putting on my child’s... or as some Southwest airlines safety speeches jokingly implore: “if you have more than one child, put the mask on the child you feel has the most potential.”
Missy has potential, but it’s going to take a long time. This week Sarah has been ill, and Missy has been stressed out. She lunged at three people this week—one of which she did while in the middle of taking a shit. She stopped mid-squat to attack. That was some serious regression. I don’t think she’s “unpredictable.” I think it’s a pretty straight up prediction, that when stressed and feeling insecure, Missy will lash out. But does that mean she can’t have a home? Does it mean she is sanctuary-bound? I hope not. I’d like to believe that the perfect match it out there for her. I wish it was Troy. And it might be.
Time will only tell—time we have about as much of that as we have money. May 4-5 is the big NKLA Best Friends Adoption Event. If Missy doesn’t have an adopter by then, she may not get one for many many months. The fact is, there are millions are homeless pets. If you want to adopt, you have literally millions of choices. Making Missy stand out is hard enough, but when the pool of adopters thins out on May 6th, it’ll be even tougher.
I try to keep my thoughts hopeful; I try to keep believing that the universe will lead me in the right direction, and that I won’t always get what I want, but I will always have what I need. What I need is a good, permanent home for Missy. She’s not a bad dog. She’s an intelligent, independent dog who needs a job to do and needs her mind occupied. She has a lot of love to give, and she (along with every canine on this planet) deserves a chance to share that love and feel love in return.
All I can do now is keep hoping for a miracle... keep wishing and hoping that Troy is the right one for Missy and try to believe that Sawyer and Missy will be safe together. I do believe Sarah was the right choice—and far better than a kennel back when we hired her. And I believe Troy is a better option as a foster than a kennel right now. But maybe there’s another avenue we haven’t explored yet. I’m open to any other suggestions that will lead Missy to her forever person.
In the meantime I will follow Missy’s lead and center my chi while meditating for a miracle. In watching Sarah do Yoga every morning, Missy has begun her own spiritually centered morning routine. I leave you with your moment of Zen: Missy’s own Yoga routine. (Turn up the volume... chanting is an important part of the process.)
